i should be fat

Seriously.. I'm not kidding! 

My nightstand looks like this:

& this isn't even half of the junk food in the house! 

I should be fat....

cookies & me

If you don't know already, I'm a cookie monster! I love all types of cookies and I don't go a day without thinking about them. I know that's pretty sad, but it's very true. If I don't think about cookies, I think about chocolate which in the end leads me to chocolate chip cookies - they're obviously my fave.

The past week, I've been craving chocolate more than usual (gee, I wonder why). So I picked up a box of chocolate chip cookies and put them in the shopping cart while the BF wasn't looking. We got home, unpacked all the groceries and that was when he finally realized that I had bought an entire box of cookies for myself - I really wasn't planning on sharing. That night went by... I had two cookies. The next night went by... I had three cookies. The next night, I told myself that I needed to lay off the cookies for a night. Well, they were staring me right in the eyes! They looked so tasty...

I forced myself not to give in to those beautiful, delicious cookies. Fortunately, for once, it actually worked - I didn't have a single cookie, but boy were they in trouble last night!

That's right! I nommed on not just one, but three absolutely delicious chocolate chip cookies! .....And boy did I enjoy it!

you stomped mickey!

Soo if you haven't noticed, the BF and I tend to cook a lot of food. We're always trying new recipes and fiddling with old ones. Now, obviously we all know that I'm not the best baker, but I have to say that when we cook dinner... it's always good (if it's not, well, that's the recipe's fault - not ours)!

The other night we made stuffed peppers like we've done so many times before. But this time was different... we messed up! We, yes I said WE, forgot to put tin foil over them before putting them in the oven. What does that mean, you ask??... It means they were burnt to a crisp! I know I said if the food isn't good it's the recipe's fault, but this time I guess I have to fully take the blame... or I could say that the recipe was too far away for me to read, so it's still the recipe's fault - I think I'm gunna go with that! Anyway.. we still ate the stuffed peppers, but once we were finished with dinner we noticed Molly staring down something black on the kitchen floor. The BF walked over to see what it was - it was a burnt piece of stuffed pepper shaped like Micky Mouse! I didn't even get to take a picture of it because next thing we knew....

Molly stomped Mickey! I wanted to yell at her, but with those puppy eyes.. I just couldn't - it's not like she really did anything bad, right? I love her, but what a little turd!

putrid poultry

Last night, the BF and I decided we would make chicken parmigiana for dinner. We went to the grocery store to pick up everything we needed - ya know, only the essentials... chicken, cheese, spaghetti, sauce, ice cream! Unfortunately I have this bad habit of picking up everything that looks good and this time it was ice cream. Of course, the BF insisted that I shouldn't get it, but somehow it ended up in the shopping cart anyway (at least it was only Skinny Cow - low in fat and sugar, but still sooo yummy!).

When we got home, we figured it was time to make dinner. The BF took the chicken out of the bag and opened it up only to smell that disgusting bad chicken odor!

I couldn't believe it! I was so disappointed - this was now the 5th time that we've gotten bad chicken from this grocery store. After swearing a little bit and stomping around the house for a few minutes, we ended up going back to the store to return the chicken. For $11 I should have received fresh chicken! We got to the front desk and I felt so bad for the lady at the counter... she had to open the bag and smell the chicken to see if it was actually bad - and boy did she get a nice wiff of that nasty chicken! 

In the end they refunded my money, but they also lost a customer because I'm NEVER buying chicken there again! Now I'm off to try it again... hopefully with fresh chicken this time.

Food?: Yes, please

Who's the pickiest eater you'll ever know? - I AM! Seriously, I'm worse than a child! Ever take a look at the food pyramid (now called "my plate")? Let's just say I never ate anything in it besides candy and breads. The more chocolate I had, the happier I was. I was afraid to eat just about everything! There were very few things I would eat, but that list consisted of pizza, pasta with butter, ham and cheese sandwiches, and some chicken every once in a while.... oh and I can't forget candy! I know you're asking yourself, "how the hell did she survive?!" .... believe me, I've asked myself the same thing and I don't even know how I did it.

I desperately needed to expand my food horizons, so I made a commitment to myself to try to eat a new food everyday - and hell, it worked! Example: Never in my life did I think I would like japanese food, but guess what happened when I tried it?? I am now addicted! I could eat hibachi all day, every day for the rest of my life and be completely happy(unfortunately that's completely unhealthy!).

Looking back I say to myself, "WTF WAS I THINKING?!?" I love almost everything I try. Things I thought I would totally hate, I now can't get seem to get enough. I used to be forced to go to restaurants where I would never order anything - I would just sit there while the "normal" people enjoyed their food. Now, I can finally go out to restaurants without the fear of not being able to eat something. It's incredible! "Oh, heyy life!"

Could this possibly be the beginning of a new life for me??! .....

What an understatement!

What was an understatement, you ask?? My anxiety!

Years went by without realizing that I was developing some crazzzyyy anxiety. I never wanted to do anything. I didn't go out with friends, I didn't eat in restaurants, I didn't travel...... in short - I didn't do anything! My anxiety had absolutely taken over my life and it was just pathetic and depressing. It held me back from doing sooo many things - I couldn't take it anymore!

I realized that everything I was anxious about was linked together in some way. I didn't travel not only because I thought something bad was going to happen to me on the plane, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to eat while I was away because I'm such a picky eater. I'm also a baby and was just plain afraid to leave home(how pathetic, right?)! After six years of suffering from the lame life that had been completely taken over by anxiety, I decided I needed to open up and explore new possibilities in life.

I knew I had to nip my anxiety in the @$$ or I would never get to enjoy life the way "normal"(is there really such thing as normal?) people do! In no way am I cured, but hell, I know I kicked the $h1t out of my anxiety already and I'm totally prepared to kick some more be-hind! I'll share some of my @$$ kicking experiences very soon - first up..... I know it doesn't sound like much, but FOOD! (I'm picky as hell, but I friggin' LOVE to eat!)